Two train journeys

On the train departing from the head station of Copenhagen, with the distant end station of Stockholm Central, I was rather miserable. I felt stupid for ending the really wonderful, relaxed time I had with one of my closest friends, in order to go to Sweden. I was so happy here in Denmark, now why did I have to go and end it all and leave? My sisters would miss me, I stressed over the train journey and was deeply perplexed over meeting my two closest Zambian friends, out of Zambia. How would it be? I wasn’t concerned that we wouldn’t get along, that seemed rather impossible to me, how ever I did wonder weather I would get along, fit in, with them in these new surroundings. I had always been quiet, would I get a voice in between these two loud girls who squealed of laughter and always had great ideas?

Of course, I cant conceal that I did my best to subdue this gloomy feeling I had cocconed my self in, I was stupid to pretend to be so miserable, there was really nothing to be miserable about. It was the height of the holidays, the best time of my year, I would soon be shopping and eating sushi with two wonderful people, my purse was top full of money, I had already made 100 plans for joyful events to occur after my short trip (At least it was only 3 days, I told myself), I could really not think of anything sad about my life at that moment. Yet pretending to be miserable was a common aspect of my life, something I enjoyed doing from time to time, when the mood was to it.

Three days later, the “miserable” game I played became less of a game and more of reality as I stood behind the recently closed train door. Squinting through a small window at my two great friends running along the platform to wave their last goodbyes, a good amount of tears pressed against the corners of my eyes. Now, I was really mad at my self, why had I been so stupid and only agreed to stay for three days? I had been getting on much better that I could have dreamed of (typical me, I always dream of the worst-case scenario), and was enjoying my self incredibly - I had even stopped counting the days until I could go home and instead decided that I kind of preferred this to home! Marie was staying longer, and they already had cool plans, this was the last time the three of us would be together for a year, and now, again, I was responsible for ending it before due time. God!

This is a very common character trait for me, I always miss where I just was.

Marie and Gabriella, I had a wonderful time in Sweden :D